Book Report – Among the Thugs
I watch English football.
I’m not religious about it or anything, but I find European soccer leagues interesting for basically one reason: their complicated league structure, complete with promotions and relegations, and the pan-national cup matches (my favorite is the UEFA cup, since it initially contains teams from the most countries).
And, so, I watch English football. I sort of root for West Ham United, principally because they have a silly name (in American English) and I envision changing the logo to….well…a big steaming ham (maybe on a plate, maybe not…I haven’t decided). Like I do in pretty much every sport, I just root against the big boys…so…ya know…fuck Manchester United and Arsenal and Chelsea and Liverpool and Newcastle.
Anyway, a guy from the basketball league I play in recommended, upon hearing that I like English soccer, that I read Among the Thugs by Bill Buford [shameless amazon.com link], because it’s both well-written and eye-opening.
He was right on both counts. This is a damned fine book.
I’ve learned a few things by reading this book:
(1) I don’t want to make my satirical comments about West Ham United to the wrong person in the East End of London.
(2) Keep your eyes open on a Saturday afternoon if you’re in England, in or near a railway station
(3) Apparently you can muster up enough force simply by sucking, with your mouth, to remove someone’s eyeball from its socket, thus allowing you to bite it off.
See how reading can open up new horizons for you?
OK…why this book is good:
Clayton had a number of troubles but his greatest one was his trousers. In all likelihood Clayton will have trouble with his trousers for the rest of his life. His stomach was so soft and large – no adjective seems big enough to describe its girth – that his trousers, of impressive dimensions to begin with, were not quite large enough to prevent them from slipping down again.
What’s not to like? Buford has a way of expressing the details that makes things perfectly clear and brings a smile to your face, or a look of horror and disgust. You know, whatever he’s going for.
As for the English soccer supporters: man, what a bunch of wankers. I think you’ll be thinking that yourself if you read this one all the way through.
I came away from this book imagining the incredible profits that must be reaped in England by the companies that supply mirrors, glassware and furniture to pubs, seeing as the stuff apparently gets destroyed with alarming regularity.
I am now considering a career change.