On the importance of help
I’m going to be a little “mushy” today and write a short note about friends.
Normally, I am a pretty self-sufficient person. I don’t usually ask people for much, and I try to wriggle out of sticky situations on my own. Sometimes, it seems people are even a little put off by this, as if they would be happier if i asked them for more, but I see it as my way to just not be a burden to anyone. Recently, I moved to China, and this experience has made me more reliant on other people than at any other time in my life.
First, I have two cats…Bob and Étienne. I had to leave them behind in order to come here, and as silly as it sounds to some, this was not an easy decision for me to make. I mean, those are my muthafuckas, yo. Now, they are living in New Hampshire (”Live Free or Die!”) with my best friend Rick. Apparently, they have gotten on well with his cat Lumpy, and so that’s cool. Rick and I have been friends for around 20 years now, and he’s helped me out on many occasions, with big things and little things. Mostly, he’s the person in my life who I can be the most open and frank with, and who most challenges me. Though I would never expect anything of anyone, I wasn’t surprised when he volunteered to watch after my boys, him being my best friend and all, and just because that’s the kind of guy he is.
But then I came to China, and there are people here that I have only known for a few weeks who are making my daily life possible. Moya Yuan, Yang Jiangni, Tao Weijie, Liu Xiao…these people have helped me immeasurably, just with small things, and it’s really quite remarkable, seeing as some of them didn’t know I existed on this planet a mere 6 weeks ago. Moya was introduced to me by Sonya, another very nice friend from China, and when I arrived, Moya endured a lot to help me find an apartment, even though she barely knew me. Because of language difficulties, I am basically a caveman here, communicating in grunts and pointing gestures, with the odd word thrown in for good measure. So suffice it to say, this was not quite enough skills for me to negotiate a rental agreement.
And there have been countless more of these problems, and people have been there to help me. Ferrying me to IKEA, helping me reschedule appointments, giving me advice on where to buy something, or how to get my cell phone connected.
Anyway the point of this post is not to give some laundry list of things people have helped me with, but just to say that for a mostly self-sufficient person, it’s good that when you do need help, there are friends there — old and new — who are willing to give you a hand. I suppose the best thing to do is, as they say, just pay it forward. Do something nice to help someone else who needs it.
OK, I’ll get back to my satirical, cynical self now…