Sometimes you read something that just utterly depresses you. I have been sick lately, and I didn’t especially need more depression, but today I read this story at Wired, and it made me sink even lower. To summarize, researchers have studied some supposed dinosaur flesh that was recovered with some fossils and concluded that it is in fact bacterial slime that formed on the bones in the ground.

The reason I am so distraught is that I have been harboring a fantasy, for nearly all my life, that one day I would see a dinosaur in real life. The aforementioned dino-flesh held the best possibility of DNA extraction, and then we’d be on our way to a real-life Jurassic Park.

This also means that the rest of my fantasy won’t come true. You know, the part where scientists vastly underestimate the intelligence and breeding frequency of said reconstituted dinosaurs, and then the dinosaurs overbreed and eventually break out of their containment facility.

And if that doesn’t happen, then I’ll definitely never see dinosaurs rampaging down boulevards in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills, randomly biting the heads off terrorized breast-implanted actresses and Botox-injected Hollywood agents…their heads being crushed like watermelons caught in the jaws of a hippopotamus.

So, it is with this news that I breathe a heavy sigh, and try to continue with my day.

I’ll leave you with this quote from a friend with whom I discussed this grave topic:

i wonder which is more probable: finding dinosaur remains with flesh on it or time travelling back to dinosaur times and like… stabbing one with a biopsy needle and fleeing back to the present?

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 31st, 2008 at 4:10 and is filed under Miscellany. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.