Modern day Colossus
Thorbjörn Holmlund kicks ass. He is working on a truly amazing project that cannot possibly be overlooked for its contribution to human civilization. Echoing Chares of Lindos, the Greek sculptor charged with constructing the colossus on the island of Rhodes, Holmlund’s legacy will be a modern day Great Wonder: a colossal moose.
The moose is apparently being built not to commemorate a Swedish victory over some invading force. But when you think about it, what reason does there need to be to build the world’s largest moose? This should be a monument to celebrate mooseness, and there need be no other reason, for there can be no reason more appropriate than that anyway.
Holmlund’s proposed moose will be a combination restaurant and conference center, and it will sit on top of a mountain named Vithatten. You will ride an elevator up through a pine tree structure, and enter the moose through it’s mouth. Oh yes, I’m sorry, didn’t I mention that? The moose itself will be a building, with the restaurant, performance area and conference rooms situated inside.
The only aspect of this project that saddens me is that the Swedes beat us to it. It’s true, many countries and regions can lay claim to the moose, from Sweden to Canada to Alaska to Russia to my native neck of the woods: Maine. Clearly we have been out-moosed; in my heart I know this moose should be in Maine, but sadly, it will be located across the ocean. Let this be a lesson to us.
But while we mourn the fact that we Mainers (and Canadians and Alaskans and Russians and so on) have never had an idea as innovative as Holmlund’s, we should still stand by and applaud him. We should buy shares in his company, to make sure that the large moose sees the light of day. And when it’s built, we should make a pilgrimage to Vithatten, which is sure to become a modern-day northern forest-dwelling Mecca, of sorts.